Thanks Giving

Are there emotions that you resist feeling? What emotions and why?

What are you grateful for?

I am grateful for

The tears,

For the courage to feel

The sadness and the pain.

I am grateful for

My present aloneness.

No one here

To hinder me.

Most so scared

Of emotions,

They censor themselves

And energetically push

To inhibit others.

I am grateful for

Clearing the blocks

Ever deeper.

I am grateful for

The freedom and aliveness

Earned from feeling.

I am grateful for

Muck out of the way.

I break through,

And feel joy.

My gratitude expands.

I am grateful for

My sweet, purring fur ball, my little cat companion…

My abundantly fruitful citrus trees that grace my backyard…

My family of choice who embrace me with their love…

Those who are open, listen, hear and receive…

The community that supports me to heal, learn and grow…

Living in a space and time that grants me abundance…

Markets with copious variety of foods…

Ease of transportation…

My awesome home in the mountains…

My access to clean air and energy…

The gift of words…

A dynamic body…

Creative abilities beyond imagination.

I am grateful that

This is but a slice,

That there is so much more

That I’m grateful for.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bibi Caspari © 11/23/17

The Canary

We can only get where we want to go by first admitting where we are. Sometimes that isn’t a pretty picture but the truth of knowing is what can give us some of the information and power needed to change. Where do you want to go? Where are you now? How can knowing where you are empower you to get where you want to go?

Weak from toxins,

The canary

Is struggling to sing.

The miners ignore

Or dismiss her.

Too busy with their lives

And thinking they are different.

“Poor thing.

So vulnerable.

Not me;

I’m different.”

The toxins are invisible

So the miners

Who are insensitive

Don’t consciously feel or notice.

But unbeknownst to them,

The toxins are killing them slowly.

The canary sings of the mockery

Of the cell tower pseudo-trees

That are noxious.

In contrast to real trees

Which give life.

She sings of other dangers,

But is ignored.

The world, so toxic,

The canaries are threatened.

Perhaps to become an endangered species.

With the unconscious others to follow,

Perhaps in short order.

(Though another story may be told

Of canaries surviving

Due to their awareness.

Finding a way to fly away,

Finding a way

To protect themselves.)

Another says:

“These aren’t toxins for all of us.

We’re evolving.”

If so

A myriad suffering and dying

Is the path to that future,

So that a few

Who “evolve”

Might survive.

Survive to find the loneliness

Of a world that has killed most life

With the refuse and poisons created

While the "evolution" occurred.

Such a future looks bleak

Though perhaps

As time passes,

More will come to know

Of the dangers.

The butterflies flapping their wings

In concert with the canaries singing

May create an effect

Around the world.

A butterfly effect

May trigger changes that can alert enough

To have them wake up

And make the conscious alterations

Needed to save us all.

Bibi Caspari © 3/6/19

Odd Birds

In what ways do you or don’t you fit in with others? How are you “odd”, different, unique?

Walking my bike over the narrow foot bridge

That crosses the LA River,

I see a man leaning on the railing

Looking at the water and wildlife below,

A pigeon quietly sitting at his elbow.

He not feeding her or making other overtures.

Just companions for each other.

I slow my pace,

Wanting to not frighten the bird,

And remark to him about his feathery friend.

“She’s here every morning.

She doesn’t fit in the flock”,

He says with a smile,

“And neither do I.”

So it’s their morning ritual

To keep each other company.

“We odd birds need to hang out together”

I say to him.

He smiles, and nods.

I smile and continue on my way. 

Bibi Caspari  ©  6/29/17  

Carrying Water

Do you ever feel frustrated? About what? How can you handle your frustrations in a proactive, positive manner?

How can you be present to and pragmatically work toward your dreams in such a way to constructively handle the obstacles that are in the way? What resources does that involve?

  

Feeling frustrated.

Wanting more time

For projects

I’m dreaming of

And working on.

Cherishing how,

Through my work,

I contribute to others

(Or so I believe) -

Supporting insights, inspiring, motivating -

While contributing to myself.

Yet busy with other tasks

And demands.

Carrying gray water

From my kitchen sink

To the backyard

To water the plants.

What if this were my job?

And all else

A gift of love

I give myself and others?

I love being outside,

And transitioning

From inside to out.

I love my plants,

And conserving water.

The moment expands.

All that exists is carrying water

And the plants I love.

What bliss!

Bibi Caspari  © 11/16/16

Pruning is Good

Have you ever had someone or something in your life that you knew was problematic, but it was hard for you to let go? What did you do about it?

Have you ever had to cut someone or something from your life? How did it hurt and/or benefit you?

It seems one of my callings,

To beckon

To point out

To urge

Others to see

What they may not want to.

People usually don’t want to wake up.

(I often don’t.

When people call me on my stuff,

I generally resist.)

But pruning is good.

If a branch needs pruning,

It being gone

Supports growth and wellness.

With an arborist's vision,

I perceive

The strength, beauty and fullness

The tree could have

If pruned and cared for properly.

It pains me to see

The sickening of the tree

With too much to support

And some of it diseased.

Pruning is good.

And feared by many

Who don’t want to change

And won’t let go.

And knowing it’s needed,

I proceed with courage.

An empath,

I hurt myself

While pruning.

So I wail the blues

And the singing helps.

Fearful, too,

Rarely certain.

Am I making a mistake?

Am I cutting the right branch?

In the right way?

Will I go too far?

Will I kill the tree?

But if I don’t prune,

A heavy branch may break

Or the tree may sicken and die.

Fearful, too,

Of possible backlash,

Or being pruned.

I want choices to be mine

Not decided by another.

I’m not always right.

(Though often I am.)

The orange and lemon trees

That grace my backyard

And prune almost yearly

Are healthy and fruitful.

I opened up

To a new man in my life,

And he slammed me.

I offered

A mirror for him to see

What needed pruning

If he chose to do so.

He was blind, deaf and dumb.

So I let it go.

I let him go.

I moved on.

Pruning is good.

Those who don’t want to

I may prune from my life.

Pruning is good

Supports growth and wellness.

Often valued

This work I do,

Though it may take time.

“To my greatest teacher

Of life, love and growing up.”

The writer wrote to me

Years after we split

As an inscription

In the front of

The book he authored.

Another asked for

Gentle pushing;

A kind of pruning.

So I did.

Initially resisting,

Then thanking me.

“You pushed me to grow.

I’m better for having you

In my life.

I was really lucky.

I had a good mentor.”

Ah, yes,

Pruning is good

Supports growth and wellness.

Thank you.

Bibi Caspari © 1/18/16

The Question

Because of people’s judgments of me (I was too emotional, too outspoken, too whatever), I used to hide parts of myself out of fear of being rejected. Then I decided to move past those judgments and dare to more fully be who I am.

Are there parts of yourself that you have felt a need to hide? What parts? Why have you hidden those parts? What cost and pay off might there be in revealing those parts?

Are you ready for a woman

Who howls at the moon

Full of her passion

Feeling the pulse of life

Coursing through her veins?

Are you ready for a woman

Who wails with grief, her own

Or the torment of feeling

The pain of both Mother Earth

And Her children?

Are you ready for a woman

Who is radically honest,

Who looks and dives into

The shadow as well as the light

And speaks her truth of both?

Are you ready for the challenges

Of facing your fears

As she names the demons that you house

Or the dark places that you resist looking at?

Are you ready for a woman

Who jumps off cliffs

Following the path of the heart

Daring to live authentically

Risking endlessly

Stepping into the unknown?

Are you ready for a woman

With such a huge capacity for love

That she opens an oceanic embrace

Deep and wide

For you and others?

Are you ready?

Bibi Caspari © 6/9/06

This Child

We all have an inner child. How healthy is your inner child? Does he/she still want to play and explore? What does she/he want to have/do/be? How can you encourage your inner child?

This exuberant, passionate child -

Angry, hopeful, joyful, frustrated.

I/She wants it all

Have, do, be.  

No reasoning with her

About the impossibility.

Her passion so huge,

Impossible is not a word she knows.

I love her dearly

And find her passion difficult.

Too much.

Overwhelming.

Impossible.

And yet…

On the other side,

Miracles exist…

The Universe is curved

And parallel lines meet.

Nothing is impossible?

Bibi Caspari © 4/22/06