Thursday, June 15, 2017

Carrying Water

Do you ever get frustrated? About what? How can you handle your frustrations in a proactive, positive manner?
How can you be present to and pragmatically work toward your dreams in such a way to constructively handle the obstacles that are in the way? What resources does that involve?

  
Feeling frustrated.
Wanting more time
For projects
I’m dreaming of
And working on.
Cherishing how,
Through my work,
I contribute to others
(Or so I believe) -
Supporting insights, inspiring, motivating -
While contributing to myself.
Yet busy with other tasks
And demands.

Carrying gray water
From my kitchen sink
To the backyard
To water the plants.

What if this were my job?
And all else
A gift of love
I give myself and others?
I love being outside,
And transitioning
From inside to out.
I love my plants,
And conserving water.
The moment expands.
All that exists is carrying water
And the plants I love.
What bliss!



Bibi Caspari  © 11/16/16

Pruning is Good

Have you ever had someone or something in your life that you knew was problematic, but it was hard for you to let go? What did you do about it?
Have you ever had to cut someone or something from your life? How did it hurt and/or benefit you?


It seems one of my callings,
To beckon
To point out
To urge
Others to see
What they may not want to.

People usually don’t want to wake up.
(I often don’t.
When people call me on my stuff,
I generally resist.)

But pruning is good.
If a branch needs pruning,
It being gone
Supports growth and wellness.
With an arborist's vision,
I perceive
The strength, beauty and fullness
The tree could have
If pruned and cared for properly.

It pains me to see
The sickening of the tree
With too much to support
And some of it diseased.
Pruning is good.
And feared by many
Who don’t want to change
And won’t let go.

And knowing it’s needed,
I proceed with courage.
An empath,
I hurt myself
While pruning.
So I wail the blues
And the singing helps.

Fearful, too,
Rarely certain.
Am I making a mistake?
Am I cutting the right branch?
In the right way?
Will I go too far?
Will I kill the tree?
But if I don’t prune,
A heavy branch may break
Or the tree may sicken and die.

Fearful, too,
Of possible backlash,
Or being pruned.
I want choices to be mine
Not decided by another.


I’m not always right.
(Though often I am.)
The orange and lemon trees
That grace my backyard
And prune almost yearly
Are healthy and fruitful.

I opened up
To a new man in my life,
And he slammed me.
I offered
A mirror for him to see
What needed pruning
If he chose to do so.
He was blind, deaf and dumb.
So I let it go.
I let him go.
I moved on.
Pruning is good.

Those who don’t want to
I may prune from my life.
Pruning is good
Supports growth and wellness.

Often valued
This work I do,
Though it may take time.
“To my greatest teacher
Of life, love and growing up.”
The writer wrote to me
Years after we split
As an inscription
In the front of
The book he authored.

Another requested
Gentle pushing;
A kind of pruning.
So I did.
Initially resisting,
Then thanking me.
“You pushed me to grow.
I’m better for having you
In my life.
I was really lucky.
I had a good mentor.”

Ah, yes,
Pruning is good
Supports growth and wellness.
Thank you.


Bibi Caspari © 1/18/16


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The Question

Because of people’s judgments of me (I was too emotional, too outspoken, too whatever), I used to hide parts of myself out of fear of being rejected. Then I decided to move past those judgments and dare to more fully be who I am.
Are there parts of yourself that you have felt a need to hide? What parts? Why have you hid those parts? What cost and pay off might there be in revealing those parts?


Are you ready for a woman
Who howls at the moon
Full of her passion
Feeling the pulse of life
Coursing through her veins?

Are you ready for a woman
Who wails with grief, her own
Or the torment of feeling
The pain of both Mother Earth
And Her children?

Are you ready for a woman
Who is radically honest,
Who looks and dives into
The shadow as well as the light
And speaks her truth of both?

Are you ready for the challenges
Of facing your fears
As she names the demons that you house
Or the dark places that you resist looking at?

Are you ready for a woman
Who jumps off cliffs
Following the path of the heart
Daring to live authentically
Risking endlessly
Stepping into the unknown?

Are you ready for a woman
With such a huge capacity for love
That she opens an oceanic embrace
Deep and wide
For you and others?

Are you ready?


Bibi Caspari © 6/9/06


This Child

We all have an inner child. How healthy is your inner child? Does he/she still want to play and explore? What does she/he want to do/have/be? How can you encourage your inner child?


This exuberant, passionate child -
Angry, hopeful, joyful, frustrated.
I/She wants it all
Have, do, be.  
No reasoning with her
About the impossibility.
Her passion so huge,
Impossible is not a word she knows.
I love her dearly
And find her passion difficult.
Too much.
Overwhelming.
Impossible.
And yet…
On the other side,
Miracles exist…
The Universe is curved
And parallel lines meet.
Nothing is impossible?



Bibi Caspari © 4/22/06

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Another Way

We tend to view life through a distorted lens based on thoughts about our experiences. Reframing can help us see reality in a different and more positive way. Do you know anyone whose outlook sometimes creates problems? How might that person change his/her orientation to have a more positive view?



You fear thinking of the past,
Of people who hurt you,
Afraid of the anger that arises;
So you build more walls.
There is another way to live.
The hurt and anger can be healed.
Energy is as real as things.
While it may not be easy,
Forgiveness is a reality
That we can create.


I feel sad for your loneliness,
Needing people to be present
To experience love.
There is another way to live.
While I love hugs
And the deliciousness
Of being physically present,
Just thinking of loved ones,
I feel the love.
Energy is as real as things.
Love is a reality
That we can receive and create.

But not able to feel love
All the way to your core,
No amount is ever enough.
Melt the shell around your heart
And the warmth can come through.
Energy is as real as things.
Love is a reality
That we can receive and create.

When open to the flow of love,
We more easily are present to
And attract it from the world. 
There is no scarcity.
Love is everywhere.
The gay man at the memorial
Sharing deeply from his heart
His losses and grief.
Sweet conversation and connection
With the Persian woman at the spa.
Same with the mountain man,
Delivering my fire wood,
Sharing his hopes and dreams
And hugging at the end of our work together.
These new connections are fuel for my fire
As are the stable ongoing nurturing connections
With those who are chosen family.
An hour talking on the phone with my daughter,
The current deep and strong.
Even the delight of my purring cat;
All these and the thoughts of these warm my being.

This of which I speak –
I’m not always there.
But energy is as real as things.
Love is a reality
That we can receive and create.
There are times when I experience
The blissful luxury
Of drinking it,
Soaking in it,
Swimming in it.
Let’s co-create an ocean of love.


Bibi Caspari © 1/26/16

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I Hate Shouting

Noise bothers me. What kind of situations or experiences bother you? What does that say about you and what you care about? How can you express that concern and meet that need in a positive way?
Do you ever feel like the world is too noisy? If so, too noisy for what? What do you want to listen to and hear that you can’t with all the noisiness of the world?


“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

I hate shouting.
Loud voices. Raucous parties.
Cheerleaders. Leaf blowers.
A slap on the back.
A poke on the arm.
These little violences
Obscure the subtle voice within.

Why do I hate shouting?
It’s hard to hear God
(Goddess/Great Spirit/Inner Wisdom/ Divine Spark)
Call her what you will. Or won’t. Or don’t call her. Or don’t listen.
And it’s hard to hear hummingbirds, too;
Or burbling fountains;
Or the wind whispering in the grasses.

Usually, God doesn’t shout
Unless you/we don’t heed the messages
She’s been whispering to us.

I don’t want to wait
Until cancer comes pounding on my door.
Until a fire rages, burning my house down.

Early morning,
Awaken from sleep,
I smell a bit of smoke,
Take action,
And prevent disaster.

My fingers tingle.
I better pay attention.
A gentle sadness beckons.
I take the time to listen.
Who is crying?
Who needs comforting?
Love is gentle,
Unless a whack on the head
Is needed to wake us up.
Then love can be tough.

Wake up, now, please.
Listen, before it’s too late.
She’s already shouting at us.


Bibi Caspari © 6/1/14


Neediness

We all have needs. So when does having needs slide into being needy? What is the difference between having needs and being needy? What causes neediness? How can we heal neediness?


Talking with my BFF,
He lonely and in pain,
Dealing with his fears
Of abandonment and isolation.

I, too, at times.
And also fear others’ neediness,
With their black holes
Impossible to fill.
And (cruelly?) speak to him of such.

Yet neediness,
Like all else,
Is a spectrum;
How much and
What kind:
The need to be seen,
To be heard,
To be touched,
To be held,
To be acknowledged,
To be loved.

Maybe those
Who aren’t ever needy,
Fearing and resisting vulnerability,
Build coats of armor
And are blocked from feeling.

Or those rare few
So filled with Love and Spirit
That there is no loneliness.
Though it is said
That even Jesus
Cried out
“Why hast thou forsaken me?”

The need for compassion
For myself, for him
And for these vulnerable naked animals
That we are.


Bibi Caspari © 4/7/16